This world is filled with tons of stupid quasi-spiritual sayings. Sayings like “Whenever God closes a door, He opens a window.” (Why is God always a “He”?!) and “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.” (Whenever anyone says this one to me, I always think to myself, “if you keep doing what you’re doing, then you’re going to get punched in the face!*)
Today, I am going to add to the pile of stupid quasi-spiritual sayings. But the difference between what I’m about to tell you and the axioms previously mentioned is that this quasi-spiritual saying is helpful! But first, a story!
Years ago, I was at an “Anonymous” meeting. I had been attending these meetings for more than ten years and was getting tired of them because I was bored.
But one night, a fellow “Anonymous” member stepped up to the “Anonymous” podium and said something that changed my life.
This fellow at the podium had told his “Anonymous” sponsor that he didn’t want to go to these boring “Anonymous” meetings anymore. To which his sponsor replied, “That’s because you’re trying to take! Why don’t you show up and try to give for a change?!”
So I gave it a try. Instead of showing up to see what I could get from these “Anonymous” meetings, I showed up to see what I could give. I showed up early to set up “Anonymous” chairs, help make “Anonymous” coffee, and stay after the meeting to help clean up the “Anonymous” room.
Not only did I start looking forward to going to these “Anonymous” meetings like I had years before, but I also started to feel better!
Because these quasi-spiritual sayings are easier to remember if they can fit on a bumper sticker, I shortened this lesson to one easily remembered question, “Are you trying to give, or are you trying to get?”
When side-coaching their scenes in the improv classes I taught, I asked my students, “Are you trying to give, or are you trying to get?” When my students focused on giving to the other players rather than trying to get laughs, they got into the moment, listened to their scene partners, reacted without fear, got the laughs they were hoping for, and, most importantly, had more fun!
If I was frustrated in my relationship, I would ask myself, “Am I trying to give, or am I trying to get?” Shocker: In moments like this, I was ALWAYS trying to get! I would then see what I could do to make my partner’s day better.
If I’m having a hard time writing, I ask myself (you guessed it!), “Am I trying to give, or am I trying to get?” I can’t tell you if the writing is better. But I can tell you that I have more fun if I focus on giving rather than getting. And I’ve found that I do my best work when I’m enjoying the process.
So, if you’re stuck in a rut and you don’t know what to do, I want you to remember three things:
1) Whenever God closes a door, He opens a window!
2) If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting!
3) Ask yourself, “Are you trying to give, or are you trying to get?”
*I would never ever punch anyone in the face, because there’s a very good chance they would punch back. Also, it’s wrong.
